But, if it wasn’t for PND rearing her head not once but twice (lucky me ha) then I would not have the business I have today. I also wouldn’t be in a position to help other women and parents to be present in both their business and as a parent.
It has taken me a while to be comfortable talking about my darker days and being ok with it all. Coming to terms with the fact that post natal depression has played such a huge part in my life, first as a new mummy, then to a mummy of twins and now as a business owner.
When I first got diagnosed with post natal depression after my son was born 8 years ago it was… well how I can put this… devastating, embarrassing, gut-wrenching… already feeling like a failure and then getting confirmation of all those things (or so it feels).
My husband and I hid it from everyone and tried to deal with it ourselves… I felt like such a failure as a mum because quite frankly I felt very cut-off from my feelings towards my son. And although I knew deep inside that this was not the real me, at the time it was really hard work, and I had to try to be a mummy every day.
It wasn’t until my son turned one that I felt the mighty gush of love. That overwhelming feeling of love that was there all along but had been masked by the PND.
I can picture it now like it was yesterday. He was wearing a white babygrow with red, yellow, blue and green alphabet letters, red edging and he was sat up on his changing dresser. His hair all combed in a side parting after just having a bath and it was the day of his 1st birthday and it hit me like a brick.
The love that I had for this little boy was out of this world, and then something else hit me. Something just as overwhelming. The fact that I had missed out on so much for his first 12 months in this world, that I had let him down, that I had failed him somehow and I hated myself for that… I felt so guilty.
Then in 2015 when my twin daughters were born everything was ok at first. I was in my element, the birth was great, being a twin mummy was so special and then… 6 months later at exactly the same age that my son was when I was diagnosed with PND the first time around it all happened again!
The BITCH was back, but this time I had twin girls and my beautiful 3-year-old boy witnessing it… I immediately sought help as I was not letting my children down anymore especially not my son – he had been through enough!
Through lots of therapy, I realised that I hadn’t failed, I hadn’t let my children down I had been consumed by the crippling heaviness that is Post Natal Depression. This wasn’t baby blues, I wasn’t a bad mum and I loved my children to the ends of the earth, but I was struggling.
During my therapy, I realised something HUGE.
I loved my children and I wanted to stay at home and look after them. I wanted to be there for them every step of the way BUT, I also needed to still be me and I loved working, I love helping people! So, I set about designing a business where I could be a stay at home mum, but still, be financially independent. And, this is how The Beautiful Method was born.
TBM is my PND baby and as crazy as it seems I will always be thankful in a way that I got PND as it made me re-evaluate what was important to me. It made me think outside the box and create a business that allows me to be at home with my 3 gorgeous children, yet still, build a 6 figure business!
Taking my business model nationwide was always a no-brainer for me, I know there are other mums out there who have a very similar story to mine, and who want to create their own lifestyle. Working with TBM is a management franchise opportunity. You will not be doing any of cleaning yourself, you will be building a business, building your housekeeping teams and client relationships – whilst still doing the nursery/school run, still attending the school events and being there every dinner, bath and bedtime.
For anyone who is suffering from post natal depression right now, it can get better, it does get better, please seek help do not suffer in silence, do not be embarrassed as it is ok – you are ok and you will be ok!